Ideas at Work
Disrupting the norm.
Throughout my career, I have been drawn to ideas that seem settled until we look at them more closely: about moral development, sexual development, sexualization, and consent. Now I am questioning the idea of sexual freedom – what ethical obligations are asked of us in our sexual relationships with others.
Across my books and research, I have returned to the same question: How should we treat one another in sex?
Much of my work comes together in this upcoming book which offers a different way of thinking about sexual ethics, grounded in the simple expectation to pay attention to the other person. I call the book:
Ethical Sex: The Illusion of Sexual Freedom
Chapter 1: Little Murders and the Denial of Vulnerability, compares our indifference to sexual affronts and assaults to the “little murders” in a play by Jules Pfeiffer.
Chapter 2: Rethinking Consent: How Thick Does it Need to Be?, argues consent, no matter how thick, will never be enough.
Chapter 3: Sex Positivity Across the Waves, explores how the idea of sex positivity became corrupted.
Chapter 4: Feeling Free: The Hookup, thinks through the hookup as the representation of sexual freedom ignoring the risks, disappointments, and accommodations women make to have this freedom.
Chapter 5: Ethical Experiments: BDSM, Bathhouses, and the Ethical Slut, examines the ways communities have tried to incorporate ethics into experiments in sexual freedom.
Chapter 6: Is Sex Special? Explains why I think vulnerability not autonomy should be the starting point for a sexual ethics that pays attention to the other person.
Chapter 7: Attention Must Be Paid: Towards a New Sexual Ethics, is where I describe an ethic in addition to consent for how to treat sexual partners.
Chapter 8: Are Fantasies Real? Explores whether I can extend that ethic to porn or even fantasies without becoming the thought police. Do fantasies have moral significance?
Other Ideas I’ve Worked On
Sexual Regret:
Ethical Sexual Regret in Men (in the journal, Sex Roles)
Mutuality as a Requirement for Ethical Sex:
Lamb, S., Gable, S., & De Ruyter, D. (2021). Mutuality in Sexual Relationships: a Standard of Ethical Sex? Ethical Theory and Moral Practice
Lamb, S., & Gable, S. (2022). In defence of mutuality as an ethical standard for sex. Journal of Philosophy of Education.
Unwanted but Consented to Sex:
Ambiguous and Ambivalent Sexual Encounters of Men (in Sexuality & Culture), Swanson & Lamb
Queered sexual consent practices amongst lgbtq+ populations
Swanson, S. E., & Lamb, S. (2026). Consent, reciprocity, mutuality: A focus group study on ethical sex. Sexualities
Consent Campaigns on College Campuses:
Problematizing Consent Campaigns in the #METOO Era, with Inga Schowengerdt and Charlie Brown
Masculinity and the Neoliberal Agenda:
How to Provide Sexual Education: Lessons from a Pandemic on Masculinity, Individualism, and the Neoliberal Agenda. with Marta Pagán-Ortiz and Sara Bonilla. (2021). Int J Environ Res Public Health, 18(8):4144. doi: 10.3390/ijerph18084144.
Sex Education/Bystander Education:
Lamb, S., Lustig, K., & Graling, K. (2013). The use and misuse of pleasure in sex ed curricula. Sex Education, 13(3), 305-318. DOI: 10.1080/14681811.2012.738604
Reaching Conservative Students in Bystander Training against Sexual Assault: Teaching Pros & Bros with Lindsey White & Madeline Brodt. Journal of Student Affairs Research and Practice
Lamb, S. & Attwell, L. (2019). Bystanders in “sketchy” sexual situations: Their constructions of the “girl,” the “guy,” and themselves. Feminism & Psychology
My curriculum: the SECS-C, The Sexual Ethics for a Caring Society Curriculum, sexualethics.org
Sexting:
Bonilla, S., McGinley, M., & Lamb, S. (2020). Sexting, power, and patriarchy: Narratives of sexting from a college population. New Media and Society.
Sexual Development and Childhood Sexuality:
Cambridge Handbook of Sexual Development: Children and Adolescents, co-edited with Jen Gilbert, York University (January, 2019)
Sex, Therapy and Kids (Norton, 2006)
Adolescent Sexuality and the Sexualization of Girls:
Packaging Girlhood
Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls
Lamb, S. (2010) Feminist ideals of healthy female adolescent sexuality: A critique. Sex Roles, 62(5/6), 294-306
Lamb, S. (2010) Porn as a pathway to empowerment? A response to Peterson’s Commentary. Sex Roles, 62(5/6), 314-317.